Ich bin glücklich, dass es Freitag ist!

Guten Tag everyone!

Like my subject says, I'm SO happy it's Friday! Friday is always the busiest day of the week for me, but it's also the best. It seems kind of funny that it's the best because most people look forward to no work the next day and having a relaxing weekend. I don't get a relaxing weekend or have it off really, but I still look forward to it anyway. I'm going to be stoked when I actually have days off in the U.S., if my job(s) are scheduled that day, we'll see.

Lately I've been thinking about how much harder things are going to be when I get home. As much as I'm looking forward to going home, I'm dreading it just as much. I'm really looking forward to being with my friends and being back in an English speaking country, but I'll still feel alone. When I moved here my mom already told me that I wasn't allowed to come back to "her house" so I've been prepared for this for almost a year now. My Dad has asked me to come and live with him, but I don't think that's a good idea. He's having a hard time letting go and dealing with me making my own decisions. The Army made him into a control freak so he HATES not having a say in what I want to do. Living with him would only make that worse and I can see it turning into a "my way or the highway" situation and I really don't want that. I've been feeling a little bitter about some of my friends who have it so easy. It really just is jealousy though. One of them has their parents house so he has a place to stay since they moved to VA, one gets to stay home for free, not work and just go to school, one has an apartment her parents pay for and a new car with no job. Blah! I'm going to bust my butt just to make it for the first year. I have been looking into grants and I think I can apply for most of them, and that will help ALOT (thanks to Liberal Politicians!) I've always been a pessimist though so maybe I'm just being down and expecting all the worst things to happen. I'm not afraid of the hard work that's coming my way. I'm really thankful for all the support my friends are giving me and hopefully that will be enough to get me through. That sounds so melodramatic! I guess everyone gets nervous when they take the next step of life.

I'm not sure what's planned for the weekend. I know that a teacher at Charlotte's preschool is getting married tomorrow so they're going to that. I'm not sure if I'm going, I kind of doubt it since I have nothing to wear. I want to talk them into going to Neuschwanstein soon though. It sucks I got stuck with the family who does NO traveling haha. It's only a 3 hour drive away, if we got up early in the morning we could do it easily. I'm planning on taking Steve when he comes to visit in September. I really want to make a trip to Berlin too, but we'll see.

Anyway, I hope you guys have a great weekend!

Jess

P.S. Here is a cute website I found of dachshunds! I want an army of them!

Adorable Dachshunds!!!

I dream.... of Canon

I dream about this camera

I drool over this camera

I want it nooooow

Unfortunately a $549.99 Canon - EOS Digital Rebel XS 10.1-Megapixel Digital SLR Camera
is NOT in my weak budget. I hope to get it by the end of the year though. I got a digital camera from my Dad and Debbie for Christmas and I do love it, but I can't take the pictures I want to take with it. I need to be able to focus and capture light better. P&S cameras are kind of difficult to capture a picture fast, especially with a 5 second delay after you press the button to take it!

I can dream and drool until then...

Very Important Blog

Hey guys,


**Warning: This is kind of a rant, so beware!**

This blog isn't focused on whiny kids or demanding parents for once. I'm just really really mad right now and I need to vent here and give Steve a break :p

All of this irritation started with Facebook. I had a post about watching a TV show and then I got a few comments that kind of irk me. I've changed a lot over the past few years and I'm finally becoming my own person and I'm discovering who I am. I make my own decisions and I don't follow the herd like everyone else does. I've always been free spirited, even with a hardcore Army Dad. I guess I'm starting to discover what I want in life and how I want to live it.

A big change in my life is church. I was raised in the LDS (Mormon) church since I was born. It was very helpful since I moved around a lot with my Dad being in the Army. No matter where we moved, there was always the church and a family like environment in the church, and people to connect with. I loved the social aspect of the church, I've met some of my best friends in it. I honestly have never believed in it. I've never willingly beared my testimony because I never felt that I had one. I always questioned everything. I do have faith, but not in the church. I started thinking more about it when I lived in Virginia. My parents have been strong in the church too. My Dad was raised in it his whole life and eventually converted my mom when she was in High School. I usually went regularly unless I could get out of it, usually by faking sick haha. When I was 15, my stake in VA made a trip up to Palmyra, NY where Joseph Smith (the 1st Prophet and Founder of the LDS church) started it all. Everyone talked about how much they felt the spirit there and how spiritually uplifting it was to be there. I never felt that way and I was actually really mad about it. I prepared myself before the trip, I was ready to be there and in the right mindset. I stopped going to church shortly after that. My Dad left for Iraq and he was really the only one who made sure I went to church. I was 15 and "knew everything" so I didn't listen to my mom either. Once we moved to Georgia, I went a few times again, hoping a fresh start would do some good. It didn't. I stopped going all together and that's just the way it was. I got weird messages from church members with authority too. Before I had my breast reduction, I had to have a talk with a Bishop about my chest size because it was a distraction. My mom thought I was having sex and told someone about it and that got around and eventually I had to have an interview with the bishop. I was supposed to tell him all the details of what I supposedly did. I haven't experienced that yet either. That's really weird and perverted too. It always bugged me that I was supposed to confess my problems like that. If I need guidance and counsel, I'll go willingly to seek it. I don't have to do any of that to repent of my sins. Whatever I do is between me and God, not some perverted Bishop. A lot of the standards bother me too. I'm not turning this into a bash-fest on the LDS Church, don't worry. One thing I have always loved is the moral structure of it. I was pretty much raised by the standards upheld in the church. It did prevent me from making a lot of bad decisions, but now I just think it's because those rules were instilled in me for such a long time too. I'm mostly complaining about the simple standards. No Coke. No Tea. No Rated R movies. No spaghetti strapped shirts. No more than 1 piercing per ear. NO. NO. NO. NO. After awhile I gave into these, and of course I was judged by almost everyone. My former seminary teacher in GA gave me the cold shoulder after I got more than 1 piercing in my ear. I have 7 ear piercings all together by the way. Being shunned is not a good feeling. It seems hypocritical in a way too. The church teaches that people should NOT judge and accept everyone. Well most people don't live by that, but I am grateful for those that do.

Just like this Facebook status! I talked about loving a TV show and BAM! Here come the judgmental comments. I am who I am. Don't call me Ms. LDS. Don't quote a prophet about being CLEAN or True. I am who I am. It really makes me angry. I could even turn green and rip my shirt off. Not really haha, but still, it does frustrate me a lot. I appreciate guidance and support when I need it. But I hate being criticized and judged the most. If I am able to open myself up to someone, they should be happy that I am that comfortable to do so. I respect everyone and their beliefs, even if I don't agree with them. I don't blame the church or anyone with it for anything. I am grateful for a few life-lessons I have learned from the church, but I honestly do not see myself being in it. I can't live my life like that. Things can always change, but now I do not see myself in it. Please do not push your beliefs on me. I wouldn't do the same to you, even if we have different beliefs and ideas.

I don't have a problem with anyone who goes and believes in it.

90% of my family is LDS and for the longest time I hid this from everyone because I didn't want to disappoint them. Disappointing the people I love and care for used to be the biggest fear of mine. I didn't want to be pushed away and judged by them. Well now I am SICK of hiding my thoughts and TRUE beliefs from everyone because I'm afraid of disappointing people. I'm not afraid of that anymore. I'd rather be myself then put up a fake front all the time. So I will be honest in what I believe in.

I do have faith and I do believe in God and in Jesus Christ
I do not believe in Joseph Smith
I do not go to any church regularly
I do not see myself going back any time soon

I watch rated R movies
I have 2-3 cups of coffee everyday
I smoke cigarettes occasionally (yes, I know it's a disgusting habit)
I have a beer or glass of wine occasionally
I plan on getting a tattoo when I'm ready for one

I really hope that any of you who read this can accept me for who I am. It's not all with church either. I don't want to be treated any differently. I'm kind of nervous posting this, but I'm sure I'll feel a lot better once I'm done. I can still be a good person and not follow the herd like everyone else. I'm Jessica Anne Campbell and I'm still the same person. I'm really appreciative of the support I get from my friends and family. Please don't shun me because I don't share the same ideals with you. Thanks for reading this if you stuck around this long. If any of you feel the need to message or talk to me privately, my e-mail address is jeckawecka89@hotmail.com


Jess

Productive Monday!

Guten Tag!

Today has been a really great Monday, which is rare, Mondays are usually bad for everyone. I was dreading the day, but I'm really glad it's turned out to be good so far. Yesterday I slept a crazy amount. I got 9 hours of sleep Saturday night. I woke up at 11am yesterday and I was bored out of my mind. Sundays are my days off and everything is closed so there's not much to do. I read for a bit and then took a nap at 1 and woke up around 5. I read some more, watched Chocolat, talked to Steve and then read some more. I knew I wasn't going to get to sleep on my own since I slept so much during the day, so I took a chug from NyQuil, the most amazing thing in the world! I was out before 11 and woke up at 7. Charlotte started screaming my name around 7:45 so I got her milk and she told me to go away when she was done so she could go back to sleep! I was able to start the laundry and get myself ready. I woke her up at 9, dressed her, gave her breakfast and took her to preschool. I came back and did my housework for the day and waited for a guy to come check the furnace and all of that. It was actually pretty funny. On Friday, Sven asked if I was going to be around the house on Monday because the Schornsteinfeger would be coming by. I gave him this crazy look and asked what the heck the Schornsteinfeger was. It sounds like The Ghost of Nazi Past or something creepy like that haha. It's a chimney sweeper, so that was relieving.
After all of my stuff was done I was pretty bored once again, so I read (again) and surfed the net for some entertainment. I have a ton of sheets of paper laying on my desk with recipes on them, so I started to look for recipe cards and found a cool template to make my own out of brown paper bags, from the grocery store. Here's the link! I made a few of them, but it takes some time if you don't iron out the sheets of paper before you print. I keep them the way they are, and if it's too wrinkled I press it with a heavy book for awhile, but the wrinkles make it look cool. They feel a bit flimsy at first, but once the glue dries it's firm and easy to write on.
I don't really have anything new to share. Things have been alright with the kids, some ol' same ol'. I've had a few arguements with the mom, but that's not anything new either. I hope you all have a good week!

Jess

I can't believe it's already July!

Hey Everyone!

Time is flying by here, next week we'll be in the middle of July already!! I can't believe I only have a couple more months left here. The past two weeks have been pretty crazy! We've been hit with Swine Flu! It's not as crazy as the news makes it out to be and it's not any more dangerous than the regular flu. Nicholas was home all of last week with it and Charlotte was home this week. It has been tough with the kids home, but I should count myself lucky since they weren't home together at the same time! Charlotte is actually doing a lot better and went back to pre-school today, which I am so thankful for, now I get to rest and get over it as well. I guess there's no way of escaping it when you're with kids all the time.

The 4th of July was a lot of fun. I drove up to Heidelberg to stay with my friends and I had a good time even though it was only for a couple days. I was stuck in traffic for about an hour on Friday when I left. It was pouring rain and when I got on the autobahn, traffic was at a dead stop. At least I had my ipod to keep me company. I left a little before 5 and got there at 7:30. It took longer than usual, it's only an hour and a half normally. The weather cleared about halfway and that was great! Driving in the rain with no glasses is no fun. I actually stopped to go to the bathroom at a German rest area.. never again! They are SO disgusting. I mean rest areas in the U.S. aren't the best either but these... oh my. When I got there, we just hung out and watched Bolt, which was hilarious. I might have laughed more than the kids :/ Saturday was pretty laid back too. All of the PX was opened even though it was the 4th, I was pretty happy. I got a few things there and then we went back to the house so the kids could play in the pool. We ended up watching Twilight and now they are hooked on it. We had to walk down to the festivities on post because Beka had to sing the anthem and God Bless America, all short notice. We came back, had some dinner, and then walked back for fireworks. We had great front row seats by the cannons and fireworks, so it was great. My favorite part is the end of the night when they play the Overture of 1812. James was pretty excited to see the cannons go off, they were pretty loud too. We came back and I watched a movie with Jake, and then I crashed. Sunday was also laid back. We slept in, had some breakfast and then went to the library. Beka was on the prowl for Twilight books and then we went to the commisary. I love going there, it's great to have American food. I bought a few things to last awhile here. I found a Cheesecake recipe online for Pumpkin Cheesecake. I hope it works out! If it does, I'll put the recipe here.

I'm excited because the family finally decided on a puppy! No backing out this time, like with the beagel. It's a blonde lab and she is so cute. Her name is Isa and she's still a tiny puppy. We're going to pick her up at the beginning of August. I'll be spending a lot of time with her too, the family will be going on vacation in September for 2 weeks, so if I go anywhere, Isa comes with. I might go to Paris for a day, I can walk the puppy around I guess. My friend Steve is coming to visit as well, I'm very very very excited! It'll be nice to spend some time with someone and venture out more. Well I'm going to get a few things done so I can relax. Have a good one!

Jess