Juni ist sehr gut!

Hallo Everyone!

June has been a pretty awesome month for the most part. The weather is finally warming up more, so we're able to go to the pool, flowers are everywhere, everything is green and traveling is better. The first couple of days of June, I stayed with my friends in Heidelberg. I'm really looking forward to visiting with General Ham when I go back. His daughter used to babysit my sister and I when we lived in Germany about 15 years ago. I feel bad for her, I put her through hell! He's a really nice guy though so it'll be nice! I love going to Heidelberg! It's great to have friends so close and it's like stepping into America for a little bit each time I go. I plan on going for the 4th of July weekend, so I'm looking forward to it. Driving there is a lot of fun too. I love road trips and this one is only 90 mins, without traffic jams. The Autobahn is really fun to drive on, at first I had a hard time keeping up with the traffic because it was so fast, but I got the hang of it and even caught myself having to slow down because I was going way too fast. The majority of the time I was just coasting around 100mph. It's so nice to have my ipod in the car too. I don't have to torture myself with German Radio and I can jam out with Robert Plant, Elvis, John.Paul.Ringo.George, Freddie Mercury, David Bowie and Kurt Cobain!

It's getting better with the family too. We have a way of doing things now and it works for everyone. It took long enough though! Potty training with Charlotte is going well. She only wears a diaper at night, or if we're in the car or out and about for a long time. We don't even have to bribe her with candy. Now I hope we can tackle the bottle of milk situation. She's 3 and a half now and she still sued the bottle with the nipple and everything. She's going to have a killer overbite and her teeth are getting gross. Even though she's going to lose them, it's still not good. I brush her teeth 2-3 times in the morning just to try and get rid of the nasty spoiled milk smell, but it usually doesn't leave. Maybe they'll jump on that band wagon soon. Nicholas is doing well too. He's learning more English in school and he practices with me. I actually started teaching Charlotte English too. We made flashcards with colors on them and simple things like flowers, fruits, animals etc. She's getting the hang of it and it's not too crazy for her to remember them. I teach them funny things too, it's great. Charlotte can say "whatever girlfriend!" with a lot of attitude, and even a head bob and snap.

I'm getting pretty pumped up to go home too. I feel ready to move on and start the next stage of life. I miss being in school so so much. I'm glad I do too. Most people who end up taking a year off after High School usually don't end up going back for college. I'm still set on being a Labor & Delivery Nurse too. I learn a lot from Sven and it makes me even more excited to do it, struggles and all. I'm excited and scared about being in Richmond. I know I'll have good friends near me so I won't be completely alone. My Dad, Debbie and Darby will be in New Jersey and that's not a bad drive away either. Shelby and Cindy will be in Alabama, not sure where though.. maybe in a van.. down by the river. Just kidding. Cindy is actually with my grandparents for the time being until she decides what to do with her life after she gets out of this HUGE mess she made. Right now, Debbie is in Georgia finishing the house with Darby and Shelby. My Dad and the dog are in NJ already and I think the girls are meeting with him in the middle of July. My mom already left everyone and went to Alabama. I've finally simmered down some. I'm still very angry with Cindy. I haven't bothered to call her, there would be no point to it anyway. I'd end up losing my temper or she just wouldn't even talk. I used to call her when I got here to check up on her, let her know I was doing, blah blah blah. She just stopped wanting to talk to me after a while so I only called because I had to. I called her on Mother's Day and it was one of the most awkward conversations I had with her. It was like playing 20 Questions.

"Hey Mom"
-"Hi"

"Happy Mother's Day"
-"Thanks"

"How are you?"
-"Good"

"I'm doing pretty good too, so what's new?"
-"Nothing"

You get the idea of how the conversation went. It ended with her passing the phone to Darby passed it to Shelby, Shelby was too involved with texting on her cell phone to really pay attention. I probably would have had better luck talking to the dog on the phone than anyone else. She didn't call when I was in the hospital after my Dad called her and gave her my room number, and she wouldn't let my sisters call when they wanted to. I could go on, but I won't, they're all just more reasons to be angry. I was angry since I found out about what Cindy did. I saw how distraught my Dad was, and is. She lied to so many people and I cannot believe that my family is now in this huge mess. Everyone I've talked to feels disappointed and let down too. I already knew that our relationship was a downward spiral, but I did think it would get better once I left home and we had our space. It didn't and I'm okay with it, we've never been very close anyway so it's not a huge loss for me. I'm not losing anything and I can only have those "what if", thoughts and feelings about our relationship. I just worry about my Dad. I hope his job isn't at stake and I hope they make it through. Let's hope it all ends well!

I really hope to actually SEE Europe before I leave. I still haven't left Germany in 8 months!! I'm only 2 hours away from France, 5 from Paris. I HAVE to go before I leave for the U.S. Even if it's just for a weekend, I want to see it all. There are cheap flights all over Europe so I can make it through that way. I just worry about money. I have enough to do all of this, but I need to save it too. I don't get paid much so that's a bummer, but I can find a way I hope. I'd love to go to Madrid, Rome, Venice, Prague, and London before I leave too. I can fly for about 30 Euro roundtrip to most of these places, so I guess all I have to do is find time and grow a pair and travel alone! I hope I still feel ballsy when the time comes for it.

Well I guess it's time I end this lengthy blog entry! Hopefully you made it through all the rambling. Thanks for reading!

-Jess