Rant!

Okay guys, I have to rant! I have been trying to avoid it, no one likes to hear someone complain a lot, but I think ranting in a blog is better than keeping it pent up and eventually going postal.

Last week was a HORRIBLE week. I rarely have bad weeks, but every now and then one pops up. A bad Monday turned into a bad Tuesday, and so on. I was just really frustrated, mostly with Charlotte. Like I mentioned before, she tests me a lot. I can usually take it and deal with it, but it's different now. She's 3 and she's really babied still. She's no where near being potty-trained, she wears diapers 24/7, she still drinks from bottles and it's kind of frustrating. I get kicked in the face at least once a day when I'm changing her because she throws a tantrum every time I change her, and it's always horrible because she screams like I am murdering her. Her baby monitor is usually on too, so I always feel awkward. I don't do anything I shouldn't do, but it kind of freaks me out that who ever is downstairs can hear everything that goes on. She doesn't really get disciplined all that much either, she'll get a stern tone every now and then, maaaaaybe a tap on the hand. She bit me a few times last week too and didn't get in much trouble. I think her mom spanked her, and then less than 5 mins later went back to babying her so the effect from the spanking didn't sink in. I'm not allowed to spank or anything, which is understandable, but if she never gets spanked, she's never going to learn from right and wrong. I'm definitely not going to tell the parents what I think about it, that's like telling them how to raise their kid and it's pretty inappropriate for me to do so. So I guess I am kind of stuck with that situation.

I get kind of annoyed when they go in my room I guess too. I have nothing to hide, but I like my privacy I guess. I know it is their house, but I don't go through their bedroom and snoop around when they're gone or here. I hope they aren't mind readers too, because I'd definitely be in trouble if they went snooping through my thoughts. They also keep bugging me about getting out more. I am still hesitant to go walk around the city by myself. Sure it's not that big, but I like being with company and walking around alone just makes me feel like a loser. I have no one to talk to and it's just boring. I'm sure I'll make friends once I start taking my German classes. I'm perfectly fine with staying around here most of the time and doing other things. Both Graziella and Sven have lived abroad, but they were always with some kind of program, whether it's an exchange student program, or school. They always had people around them. I know living in a foreign country isn't easy for anyone, but I think this is a little harder, I just can't walk into a store and become friends with someone. With a language barrier it's even harder. So I kind of wish they'd get off of my back about it. I just kind of smile and give a curt nod whenever they bring it up, so if they know body language, I'm sure they'd get what that means. I try to learn German on my own, but it's hard. I'm afraid of sounding stupid, and I'm learning the "Caveman" way, which is basically just learning simple vocabulary and then trying to piece words together in a decent sentence, sometimes it works and the kids understand me, sometimes it doesn't and they look at me like "what the heck are you saying?" so I'm sure classes will be SO much more effective than this "caveman" way of learning.


Well, if you stuck around this long, thanks for reading! Any advice would be nice :) I hope you all are well!!


Jess